Tag Archives: Goal Setting

The Finish Line is really a Dotted Line?

The Finish Line is a Dotted Line

 

 

Why is it from the time we are children we are always striving to reach the next milestone. We can’t wait to lose our baby teeth, only to find we look silly and can’t successfully chew.

Reaching double digits comes next accompanied by gaining entry to a coveted seat at the grown up table. Where consequently we are introduced to chores and responsibilities and often where the conversation is quite boring!

Fast forward, we speed through our high school years. Our new focus becomes getting accepted into to the college of our dreams. We are warned by our family, teachers and trusted advisers that these are the best times of our lives. We do not heed their warnings and fail to truly savor the simplicity of the time.

We then become excited for college graduation. This is when real life will begin! We will build up our resumes, network and interview like a madman and woman. The next thing we know we are drones on the train station platform, ordering coffee on auto pilot, and entering the Monday morning rat race.

Finally comes grown up life. True independence; life on one’s own terms. In reality this means mortgages, bills, car payments and more. Often this is followed by cohabitation or marriage. “If only I was in a relationship and had kids then my life would really start,” might become the next goalpost or mantra. Like all other milestones, does anything truly prepare you for this? Who provides you with the warning labels and fine print?

So net net my dear reader is this; whether you are 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50, in Childhood, Adolescence, Young Adulthood, Marriage, Divorce, Parenthood or Old-Age, the one thing you can undoubtedly count on is that life will continue to raise the stakes.

What are you going to do when life throws you a curve ball? Are you going to lie down and take it or are you going to raise the bar?

One can never truly know what life has in store; nevertheless, you need to be prepared to face each challenge head on. Always bear in mind that adversity bares vast opportunity.

Here are my favorite tips for dealing with life’s ebbs, flows, curve balls and bombshells while continuing to raising the bar:

1. Recognize the signs:

Get real, life does not usually fall apart overnight. There are signs. Do not ignore the red flashing lights from the runway.

2. Read between the lines:

Look for the hidden signs. They are there, you just might not be looking hard enough.

3. Be realistic:

Face reality. Whatever the facts are deal with them head on.

4. Get some rest:

Change is exhausting. Get some rest and by all means schedule in some fun!

5. Save yourself first:

When you get on a plane they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first. This is good advice. If you are ok, you will have the strength to do what needs to be done. You can then help those around you get up to pace and follow your lead.

6. Practice Self-Care:

This is no time to let yourself go! Make sure to continue or adopt self-care rituals that helps revive and rebuild your energy stores. Exercise, Eat Well, Walk with a friend, Spend time outdoors, get a massage, and fill in the blank:_______!
7. Fake it till you make it:

My late Aunt Phyllis taught me that if I did not know how to play tennis to get a great tennis outfit, learn how to jump over the net and then get lessons. “You will catch on” she explained.

I do this with everything in life. I decide what I want to do or be next and then I the figure it out in the trenches. Consequently I always get there!
8. Be Your Personal Best:

Learn, Explore, Read, Stay Relevant, Repeat …………
9. Outsourcing and Lifelines:

If someone offers to help you thank them and say yes! You do not have to be a hero. I have not done a load of laundry or a stich of housework in the two years that I went back to school to change my career. Relinquishing control is difficult, but necessary. Something has to give!
10. Let go:

There are things that you will need to let go of along your journey. These may be people, places and things. You cannot be all things to all people. You cannot divide yourself too thin or you will lose focus and you may not succeed. Remember you are the one on the Journey and you are the one that is undergoing Transformation. Trust the process. Let others catch up.

11. Contact & Thank your Supporters & Personal Board:
You put a Personal Board together for a reason – this is it! During times of transformation you need your closest supporters and accountability partners the most. They will keep you going, talk you off the ledge, cheer you on, and be your best sounding boards. All this, while keeping you honest and sane.

My grandfather taught me at a young age the importance of finding the people you admired the most in life and your career and bringing them into your inner circle. More importantly I learned on my own that in order to have a good friend you needed to be a good friend. I value my close relationships above all else in life, and give relationships my all. I treasure each and every one of you. You all know who you and I know you are reading this. Thank you, Thank you, Thank You!
12. Welcome New and Fabulous Fellow Travelers!

Wow, the people you will meet! Doctor Seuss might have said this first but boy was he right. I have met the greatest people during my transition into my new career. When I walked into NYU that first Sunday morning two years ago I did not realize the door I was truly opening. I have met the greatest people, some I believe to be lifelong friends. Through opening up to new networking opportunities I have again met fabulous people, joined a board and again made fantastic new friends. I have had lunches and coffee dates that have been like warm comfortable sweaters and long deep exhales. Yes, there are people out there that will truly get you, and get what you are going through. Be open to them and let them in. Your will expand and new opportunities will be endless.

13. Steal and savor all and any Peaceful Connected Moment:

I coined the phrase Peaceful Connected Moment when I had small children. By definition a Peaceful Connected Moment, is a very small window of time when the wheels stop, the noise in your mind slows if only for a moment, and you can savor a moment of quiet peace and contemplation.

You will know when one arises. Learn to recognize it, and enjoy.

14. Be willing to take a risk:

At the end of the day, when the preparation, contemplation, and analyzing is over, you must be willing to roll the dice. (I can’t take credit for this, it came from a board member)

You must trust the “Net Will Appear” -Zen Saying

or

“Learn to Swim or Build a Boat” me

15. Let go of dead weight (kindly), but beware of the carnage:
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When you emerge from the rubble and dust yourself off, not everyone will be there to cheer you when you take your victory lap. This is ok. The ones that are supposed to be there will and the ones that aren’t won’t. That’s life.
You will survive.
My life has imploded and I have reinvented myself so many times, I can hardly recognize myself. This is a good thing; adversity has brought me great opportunity! I have been knocked down and have gotten up each time from my face down in the ring moments stronger, wiser and more resilient from the fight. I have faced adversity and won. I have raised the bar each time and clearly understand there is no finish line or end game in sight. There are only targets, goals and lots and lots of surprises. I am excited for every new challenge. Bring them on, I’m ready willing and able!

I challenge you to do the same.

It’s Not Too Late To Finish Strong!

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Since I was a little girl, Labor Day has always been my favorite holiday.

I love the summer. Longer days, casual Friday’s, activity filled weekends, vacation, casual reads and days at the beach. Nevertheless, by the time August rolls around I am ready to hang up my flip flops, put away my gardening tools, roll up my sleeves and get back to work!

As I woke up this morning, poured my coffee and sat down to check my e-mails I was thrilled to discover my new syllabus in my inbox. Just as I felt growing up I experienced the same jolt of excitement I remember so vividly when discovering my school supply list had arrived in my mailbox. I could hardly wait to download my text books, sharpen my pencils and grab a clean sheet of paper and get to work!

Another summer concluded and a fresh new quarter to make my mark in 2015.

I am an optimist. Definitely a glass is half full person, yet, as I laced up my sneakers to take my morning run I began to ponder what changes I may fail to make this year? What resolutions might I not follow through on? On which commitments will I miss the mark? What stones might I leave UN-turned?

As I opened the door I took the first breath of morning air. Imagined or not, there was a marked change in temperature. Perhaps I wondered is this analogous with changes to come? A symbol of possibility and movement ever so slight peeking out around the corner? Is it synonymous with slight shifts in behavior and perception? A doorway to transformation?

As my pace hastened so did my determination. There is still time to cross the finish line a winner. The opportunity to reach my goals, mountains yet to climb, issues left to resolve.

Where to start? Somewhere and now!

Here is my top 10 list of strategies to finish strong:

1. Don’t ignore the signs:

If something need addressing, face it, handle it and move on. If you need help or support then ask for it.

2. Stay relevant:

If you do not stay up to date someone else will. Only you are responsible for how your story will unfold or end!

3. Update your resume/social media profile:

Even if you are in the most secure position, you should update your resume, bio, profile and head-shot once a year. It is moreover a great way to see what you have accomplished each year. It can additionally be a measure of work still needed to be done.

4. Update your resolutions and goal list:

If you don’t have goal list then create one immediately! Putting your aspirations on paper is a form of commitment. It is the first and most critical step to creating a successful strategic action plan.

5. Buddy Up:

Everyone needs a goal buddy. Sharing your goals with  trusted advisers makes them hard to ignore. No one wants to be the slacker that starts an exercise routine and fails to follow through.

6. Call a Board Meeting, or simply call your Personal Board:

If you don’t have a Personal Board them make it part of your goal list to get one. Defined; your Personal Board members are mindfully chosen advisers and confidants that will help you rise through the ranks. They will become your accountability partners on your road to success. Furthermore, they are a perfect pool of candidates from which to choose a goal buddy.

7. Let go:

Are you holding on to something that you need to let go? Is anger or resentment holding you back? Why not consider letting bygones be bygones? The energy you are putting into plotting your revenge could be energy better spent toward crafting your future success story.

8. Reconnect:

Get back in touch with the people and relationships that slipped through your fingers this summer. Get some lunch dates on the books and dinners on your calendar. Consider joining a new networking group.

9. Finish something you started:

Vow to finally sign up for the last two classes required to complete your masters. Buckle down and complete the work project that you keep pushing to the back of your list. Get the roof at home repaired before the winter kicks in. Fill in the blanks?

10. Prepare the Field:

The best way to get back in the game and finish strong is to get organized. Clean up your desk, inbox, closet, night-table, kitchen, garage, brief case, car or whatever is making you feel out of sorts. Do whatsoever is necessary to clear the field so you can plot your strategy and finish strong.

We all have our favored time honored traditions, mine is the last run of the summer. I take this run each year at the beach on Fire Island. I grew up on the beach. Weekends spent at my grandparents’ house in Rockaways followed by summers in Fire Island. The beach helped teach me persistence and fearlessness. As early as two, I remember being knocked over by waves, tumbled upside down, losing my breath and landing far off track. Yet I ran right back in and did it again! The vastness of the ocean as I run along the shore similarly reminds me of the endless possibilities that are available to meet my goals, objectives and dreams. Each year when I finish this run, I take a little extra time to sit on the shore savoring the sights, sounds and distinctive smells of the ocean. I steel one last minute of serenity, as I paint a mental picture of the scene. I will conjure this image in times I get discouraged.

As I walk back up the stairs to pack up our summer home, I know I am ready. When I ferry back to shore, I am confident that I will end the year victorious. How will you do the same?

What is your End Game?

 

If you could time travel and wake up one year from today where would you be?  What would you have accomplished and what would life look like for you?

Would you have a new job, a relationship or live in a new home?  Would you have lost 10 pounds? (That one keeps slipping back on my list)  Going to the gym? Change your look? Go back to school? Take up mountain biking? (I don’t recommend that one see #take it on the road)

If you say you would change nothing what does that mean?  Surely we can all use some personal improvement. What is holding you back?  Is it fear of failure? Self-judgment? Nay-Sayers? Plain laziness?

Snap out of it!  We all need an end game and set of goals to strive for.

I always have and end game in mind, and a set of goals and dreams in my back pocket. I recommend you do the same.

Goals picture

My trick is to visualize myself at my personal best.  I imagine I have already achieved my ultimate life accomplishment and have completed my goals; then I work backwards.

I start by asking myself the following questions:

What are the obstacles standing in my way?

(Tonight it is a cancelled flight)

People stuck in airport

What resources, options and solutions are already available to me?

(I can always get a hotel room and re-book for tomorrow)

What will the payoff be?

(A good night sleep, a glass of wine, definitely a Snickers bar)

How will I feel now that I have accomplished my dreams?

(Like I did not visualize myself on the living-room couch hard enough)

Woman relaxing at home

All kidding aside, visualization, goal setting, assessing your resources, options, and solutions, imagining the pay-off and “acting as if” are powerful tools.  They may be all that is standing in the way of achieving the life of your dreams.

What is your end game? I would love to know!

Ending

 

 

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